changes in the blink of an eye

You start out reminiscing about how bad last Christmas was, and end up telling me you are doing a 10 day detox cleanse during this Christmas!  Really?  I can see holding back from devouring every chocolate within reach...but a 10 day detox? Please celebrate, love.

I remember your favorite Christmas special was always the Grinch. Let your heart get ten times bigger, just like his. Don't be detox strong over the holidays. Be open-hearted gushy vulnerable strong.(Just being the bossy big sister here...)

I had the brilliant idea of holding B#1 in the Light, then promptly forgot all about him. Great sister I am!!

I remember when we were young, he always took care of S#5. She identified herself as his baby.  The other thing that has always stood out with him is his musical talent. from the time he picked up a tuba - do you remember that was his first instrument?  - he shined.  I was part of folk group at church with him. We did that together for years. We sang at most Saturday night Masses.

My Light today was my middle child. He had a problem with his car, and I was closest place to pull in and check. He pulled into my driveway, got out, opened the hood and climbed underneath. I was curious, but I waited. He replaced a part, then came in. Today they finished work early and he was relaxed, so he hung around for a long time. He is fun to talk to because he is so bright and aware and informed.  And I really like it when my kids feel free to pop in unannounced. He and my youngest are most likely to do so.

My oldest also called. She had an incident where a healthy young friend collapsed.  Of the 60 people there, only one knew CPR, and they kept her alive until the EMTs arrived. She is now in an artificial coma with lowered body temperature. I think my child as shaken to the core by how quickly life can change.

Also, she and a few friends are going to take CPR to make sure they know what to do. I asked if I could join them. It's been years for me.

I found out today that a friend from high school died about a year and a half ago.  I know it happened a long time ago, but for me it feels fresh.  A few others have died, but I didn't feel a lot of sorrow or loss.  But this guy was a friend.  We were a lot the same - nonconformists who were on the edge, only there because we had to be. I remember dancing with him at a club one summer night a few years after we graduated.  I remember him teasing me.

And then we lost touch.  And now he's gone, and I wonder what life gave him. Was he happy?

And so on that bittersweet note, I will make my nightly announcement about being tired, and turn in!

Love and hugs and smiles,

Clare