Rational and irrational beliefs- Light

Clare,

I am feeling really open right now…
vulnerable, I guess.
The experience with my sons really showed me how much I love them and want them in my life. I found myself composing a letter to my older son this morning that asked him, "What are you afraid of?"
I had a long talk with a wise Friend yesterday about the prison leading. He talked extensively about shame and men's need to posture and hide anything shameful. It really struck a chord within my life. He said the "antidote to shame is exposure". Gently call it out, let the Light shine on it and expose it for what it is- only an irrational expectation placed on us by society. Be tough, never let them see you suffer, be a man, and all of that garbage. So, I had the courage to ask my son, "What are you afraid of?"

I wrote this is rhetorical…but I would listen if he wanted to share.

As I was looking for a large book to use as a lap desk I found a sheet from years ago about rational and irrational beliefs. It was too appropriate not to share with him.
Talk about synchronicity…
I'll share a few:
Irrational beliefs-
That you should be thoroughly competent, skilled and achieving in all respects if you are to be considered worthwhile.
The belief that your past is the all important determinant of your present behavior.
The belief that human happiness can be achieved through inaction.
The belief that your wants are your needs.
Rational beliefs-
Seek to do the things you want to do as long as you do not hinder others.
No matter how hard you try you will never please everyone.
Your opinion of yourself is most important.
Awful connotes that something is 100% negative. Events or circumstances are at times inconvenient, but they are not awful. By telling ourselves things are awful we are causing ourselves to overreact over-emotionally.
The external environment can cause you physical pain, never emotional pain. You are the cause of emotion by your self-talk and thereby can control and relieve any uncomfortable emotion by self-talk.
You own your own life and others own theirs.

Re-reading this has given me some clarity…
it has helped me to put down, at least a little, some of my expectations.
This was a moment of Light today.

I am having a taste of the maturing children at the holidays experience. We finally decorated the tree last night without my older son because we could not find a time that everyone would be home together until later tonight. My oldest has a boyfriend of 6 years, so she is expected to spend time with his family. My second is having dinner with her best friend's family- her second family. The boys come and go with friends. Husband and I talked about the changing dynamics last night. It's bittersweet.

I had a conversation with S#4 last evening, after S#3 told us about her genetic results. S#4 is really worried. She said that at times she is fearful that she is going to get breast cancer. She is seriously considering prophylactic mastectomy to alleviate her fears. It is an option. It's wonderful to be able to be here for her, and for her to trust to reach out to me. It is a gift. I am blessed.

So, sister, I hope that you have a peaceful, quiet Christmas eve. I am holding you and your family in the Light. I will be back here tomorrow, once things quiet down.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Christmas Blessings,
Maggie