I can be happy, even if things aren't perfect.

Clare,

I think I'm going to like these boobs.
They are smaller, softer, rounder, not droopy…
but they are also still swollen, bruised and tender to touch.
I still have a midline, horizontal scar (covered in steristrips right now).
I'm not sure how they are going to disguise that scar…
with the nipple tattoo?
I had so much tape on my skin I'm still rolling off the sticky adhesive that has my clothing sticking to my skin and pulling awkwardly. But, 2 showers in, I'm feeling pretty good.

I addressed Christmas cards last night. I folded some laundry throughout the day. I started working on a powerpoint about medical genetics and ethics. It was a good day, but I was aching when I went to bed.
Right now I can only sleep flat on my back, which is OK but not my preference. I kept getting spasms in my feet. My big cat has been sleeping between my feet this week. She got frustrated by my fidgeting and attacked me through the covers. What a circus. I eventually fell asleep.

As I lay there last night I was feeling quite happy. It was a good feeling. I think that was my Light in the darkness. I can be happy, even if things aren't working out perfectly.

I think I'm going to try to step back and let the holiday unfold. I wonder if I am capable of that?

Tomorrow we are going to see daughter#2 in an interesting version of Dickens' Christmas Carol. They have a trolley that starts at a local winery with a wine tasting and introduce Scrooge and some of the characters. After a scene or two they load the trolley and take us to another local business where other actors are waiting to act out their scenes. It's a great way to see a holiday tradition and to get people out to local businesses. I'm really looking forward to it.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie