You spoke your truth. You should be proud of yourself and who you are. And when the person receiving your story heard it, she was probably filled with empathy and respect. One thing that jumped out at me is that she wondered why the women were not truthful in a safe place. Because, no place is safe. The only one who thinks it is safe is her, the speaker...
My youngest is staying with a friend, trying to avoid the ex. She didn't have to work from Tuesday through today. He is trying to contact her, but she is not ready. Right now, I am the only one who will respond to him. I have so much compassion, because I can tell that his motivating factor in life is shame. He is ashamed of the way he was raised and of choices he has made, and really, of who he is. That doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable. As long as they continue to play victim, they are setting themselves up for the same relationship again and again. Only the names and faces will change. I am trying to lead my daughter to a more mature place - but it's her journey, and again, I have to trust her.
But yes, the plan is that she will move back in with me and have the baby here, and try to keep her job, and take some internet courses until she has the freedom to take evening classes. I am currently moving out of the large bedroom, since there is room for a crib and changing table.
Life changes.
She asked me to tell her Dad. I told him that the kids knew they could always come home, if they needed me or needed sanctuary, they were welcome. So he said she was welcome there, too, if she needed an escape. I also relayed your invitation to her.
To be honest, when I saw her Facebook post, my first thought was, let's step away from the drama. But, then I called her to make sure things were okay. She said she was fine, and that we could talk tomorrow. Your message will be welcome. I have been thinking that I need to try to help her understand how beautiful she is. I have also been thinking about balance.
She dated someone for a long time, who let her walk all over him. She broke up with him, because she didn't respect him, and he was so young he had no idea what to do! Then she found two guys, both older, who want to control her. She ended up getting really hurt both times. She needs to find a balance. But with our background, I wonder how long it will take to recognize it.
In thinking about her, I started thinking about myself and my total lack of trust in myself. I am still afraid of repeating my marriage - different face, same story...know what I mean? I am still afraid to be vulnerable. Men notice me, I ignore it. I am such an ass!
I am really looking forward to your survey results. Every time we have an eclipse, something big happens. This time, you got the grandmas, I got a grandbaby!
I am not working this weekend. Woohoo! After this, I will work almost every day until Christmas. I am already tired! This weekend, I am going to move furniture and sleep. I have a cold I just can't kick, so I am going to sleep it off. I hope.
I liked your dream-type analysis. I go for long periods of not remembering, then I will have a spell of remembering. When I remember, I try to jot something down that will remind me so I can unearth the details later.
I hope you have a fun weekend. Getting ready for Christmas?
Love you, Clare
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