Leave it to you...

Your dreams are so cool!  It sounds so amazing!  But leave it to you to be the scientist, and hand out questionnaires!  I dream family and I dream ice storms and sandals and chaos - of letting everyone else's chaos swallow my life!

So now everyone has their questionnaire.  You'll have to give them time to fill them out.  I can't wait until your bursts of intuition take us someplace new.  This is so cool!!  Have you ever had "to be continued" dreams before? I went to school every night in dreams for a period of time.  I saw a friend going to another class in a dream one night, and so I called him in waking life and told him.  He said, yeah he was there, but we were in different classes.  I love my friends!!

Once you mentioned your chameleon-like qualities, I recognized it in myself.  It's part of the "being silent" me.  When I do emerge, I show a part of myself that matches the person I am interacting with.  I remember realizing once, many years ago, that none of my close friends truly knew me.  I only showed a part of myself to each.  I remember wondering what that meant about me.  I have a better idea now.

I think family relationship do repeat.  I wondered, once, if Dad was so harsh with B#3 because he had a photographic memory and a beautiful singing voice and Mom was always so delighted with him.  I also think it's because B#3 looks like Mom's brothers and father.  I think B#3 was close to Mom, they understood each other.  And so I think Dad went after him.  He hated my intelligence, often criticizing me and telling me for someone who was supposed to be so smart ___________ (fill in blank with last stupid thing I did)...Because I think he resented Mom's success in high school.  Dad didn't like himself - or he was ashamed of himself - and targeted those parts where he felt dark and Mom shone and detested those aspects in us.  How convoluted was that?  Just the same, I was pregnant with my youngest son after my ex and I bought our farm, and my ex was only home on weekends.  In a way that was when we became our own family and he was an occasional guest.  My youngest son was mine, although the middle one was most attached to me.  He refused to be left home with his Dad when young.  I often wonder if he singled out the youngest because he was my first baby, rather than our baby, although we weren't purposely keeping him out.  Just by being gone he missed 70% of what happened.  And he only called home once a week.

I don't know. I got very close to all of my kids during that time - we had to work together.  And he missed a lot.  By criticizing them he was really attacking me in a roundabout way.

Am I making any sense tonight?

We only got a dusting of snow.  We never seem to get really harsh weather here.

You were right about the dog.  It was the same color as the flint.  Very strange.  After I picked it up and petted it, it became a rich color.  So it went from chameleon to vibrant and alive.  Maybe that will happen to me!  Maybe it is happening to me...

The eclipse was today. Emotions are still high, but I feel like we are about to blast forward.  Am I ready???

Sleep well, have interesting, expository dreams!

Love you lots and lots,  Clare