1 step back

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/issue_briefs/brain_development/effects.cfm

I happened upon this site and was shocked by the image of the brains of three year old kids shown about half way down.  It made me grieve, for my children.  I recognize some of the coping skills in myself, and I feel like that muddled my parenting ability, and so I passed it along to the next generation.  Standing back, I can see myself, and I can see how it happens.  I wish I could have do-overs, because my children are so remarkable.  I wish I could have done better for them.

If abuse and neglect cause this much damage, it's no wonder we can't exit the cycle...

I think I fallen back into a day of despair. I know it will pass, but I think I have to wallow here in order to understand the pain.

I have been thinking about ways to rewrite my story from a positive view.  I am not there yet, not capable of seeing the positive.  I do know that I still have the chance to end with,  "...and she lived happily ever after."

Maybe that's the way I should face today.  How do I live happily ever after?  How do I glow?  How do I let my inner Light shine?

I know I won't get there today, and so I leave you with love, and will wait for inspiration!

I love you,

Clare