patient and gentle

Clare,

My old dog is struggling too. I hate to leave for work because I have a sense that she won;t be here much longer. She lays around most of the day and night. She isn't sleeping most of the time, just breathing heavily and watching her surroundings. She struggles to go up and down steps. I've given her pain meds, extra pain meds for the past two days…
they seems to help her mobilize a bit more.
I don't know how to judge how close a dog is to her end. She could sleep like this for months. I guess I have to be patient.

I spoke with Mamma Delana yesterday. Papa D did not get on the phone. She was uncharacteristically bright and cheery. She read me the pathology reports. She told me that Papa was going to fight this with surgery, radiation and chemo. She was optimistic. When I asked about prognosis she jumped to another subject.

The Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, postulates a series of emotions experienced by survivors of an intimate's death, wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I think she's in denial. I cannot understand her lightness and unconcerned manner.
I think S#5 is going to have her hands full over the next months.

Tomorrow is my 28th wedding anniversary. I cannot believe I made it this long. It hasn't been easy, but I'm glad we are still married. We are going to go hiking at a nearby attraction with many waterfalls. After that we are going to explore a quaint town nearby and have dinner. Our oldest is going to maintain some semblance of control at home. I'm looking forward to a day away from home.

I was journaling today. I kept getting the message- Patient and gentle…
I think that's good guidance.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie