stay serene while not knowing

Hey Maggie,

It just feels like the shit is hitting the fans on all fronts these days.  Another car accident!  I'm so glad your daughter is okay. Cars are replaceable. Nieces never are.

Thanks for the insight with S#5.  I'm glad you were kind enough to think to ask her. She always talks so positively - "Yeah, it's great to have them so close."  I was just believing her.  I will offer her my shoulder too, in case it gets to be too heavy.  Her husband is so stable, though, sometimes I wonder if she needs anything else.

If your youngest son will use his behavior, in a positive way, to manipulate life, to get what he wants - then so what?  Just let him learn that positive behavior wins rewards.  When he goes too far, or uses unacceptable techniques - he loses.  That's pretty much the way we civilize our toddlers, and we teach them to negotiate and compromise.  With your youngest, it's never too late to learn!





I do agree that you have to be very careful about sending him away.  Especially since it may be construed in an angry, unsettled mind, that he has already been replaced.  I see the wisdom of allowing him to be part of the process.  I read a few web site of therapeutic boarding schools, and was not confident that any one of them would be a good place.

Can he get another dose of Arizona?   Do they have any suggestions?   Or any other programs?

I know you are stressed.  But I laughed when I read that your kids are calling things.  Mine do the same. Only mine are calling my things...for after when I die. The most valued - they have all called my vinyl albums.  Then they sit and argue about it in front of me.  I usually remind them that I am still here, and I can still choose a recipient!

I am still tired. I'm sitting in my messy office, but I don't have the energy to clean up.

And I caught a big, fat rabbit in my garden.  Now I know who stole my Brussels sprouts, chard and all of my green and yellow beans. Sigh...

This is festival week.  Today is actually the first day, but we will go out tomorrow.  I did set up work last weekend, which is actually more fun than festival.  Sometimes at fest,  I am overwhelmed by that feeling of alone in a crowd.  I know a lot of people, talk to a lot of people, but don't feel like I am part of anyone.  But I always hear someone new whose music I like...

Still not sure what is happening out west...so I don't know if I am going or staying here...trying to stay calm and serene while not knowing what happens next.  I think I should have an idea by Monday...My neighbor said I need a read, and said she would do that the next time I am alone.

We'll see...

Love and hugs from Clare