foxy

Hi Love,

How are you?  I have suddenly gotten a bit of energy.  It may be because it is a little cooler.  It might be because I started adding motherwort to my morning blend.

I talked to Mom for about an hour yesterday.  I could not tell if she was enjoying the talk, or if she was wishing I would stop talking...but it was reminiscent of when my kids were young.  We used to spend time on the phone together.  Anyway we were on Skype. About 45 minutes into the talk, Dad leaned forward from his chair behind Mom, and waved at me.  A touch of acknowledgment! I asked how he was, he said he couldn't hear me.  Perfect!

My ex's sister spoke with my youngest, advising her that she needs to make amends with her dad, because you never know what will happen. My daughter said she had had a sense of impending doom, and that her aunt's words made her cry, later, when she allowed herself to feel it.  So she called her dad.  Then I sent him some recent grandkid photos, and asked how he was.

It all seems tied up with what is happening with Dad.  All of these men with whom I have unstable, broken relationships...but not really unstable. I can't find the proper word to express the lessons we have taught each other, and may not quite be done teaching...

Today my granddaughter and I finished moving a face cord of firewood into the mudroom.  She likes to help steer the wheelbarrow, which means I get a bit more strength training, holding the darned thing steady.  Then after she left I mowed for an hour or so.  Good workout. After we did our work - we also bathed dogs, and bathed her, we were taking some mail out to the mail box. We looked for the cows, as we always do - we are both Taurean, after all!  Then something else caught my eye.  Something was moving in the browned grasses.  I could see the horizon of a spine emerging, then disappearing into the grasses. Then I saw a fox. She was beautiful.  She froze. I picked up the babe to see if she could see the outline.  Then the fox turned toward us, sat down and looked right at me.

I planned to sit on the side of the road and gaze back, after I put the envelopes in the mailbox. But when I turned back, she was gone.

Of course, I reviewed...feminine magic, paradox, being in the border places, playing - be able to play.

Getting dark earlier and earlier.  Time to finish up my day.

Love and hugs from Clare