Yes!

Happy New Year Little Sister!

Last night ended up being just me and my youngest granddaughter, tacos and Doc McStuffin. She fell asleep and I read.  I was asleep when the year changed.

Such an exciting life I lead.  Actually, my life is always full of little points of magic.

I am still reading Carry On, Warrior.  I am still thinking about being Shameless.  That word in so powerful, intriguing - it needs to be capitalized.

But the other word I have been yanking around is "Warrior".  I have no interest in being a warrior.  Who am I at war with?  Myself? Is that the relationship I want with myself?  I have actually been trying to purge my everyday vocabulary of all military words.  I don't want to fight, battle, attack, shoot, conquer, wipe out...I don't want to have enemies.

I am so tired of defining every situation in terms of a winner and a loser.  I have complained so much about stories like Narnia and Harry Potter and Star Wars.  Each teaches us that violence is the way to peace.  But my oldest son, a major Star Wars fan recently opened my eyes a bit...I have only seen the original trilogy, which is actually the middle part of the story.  I have not felt much draw to watching the initial part of the story.  My son acknowledged that the first part of the story can be a little silly, but that it is important to understand the story of Annikin Skywalker, and to see his turn to the dark side, then ultimate redemption. And suddenly I saw it...all the battles on screen - they are just the old cowboy shoot-em-ups, the good guys win because, well, they're good.  The true battle was the battle for Darth Vader's soul. And that was won by the Light.  Violence is not the way to peace- Love is.

Now I'm interested.  I know all the "collateral damage" caused by the fight for Darth's soul will continue to bother me...

S#3 did not come to visit.  I guess she decided not to say Yes! I'm wondering how deeply I can embrace Yes this year.

I am working on my book...That's a Yes!

I social media-ed with a young woman I knew as a toddler this morning. We're going to mutually support our book writing efforts this year. That was a really nice start to 2016.

I had a crazy dream last night.  I have been dreaming about a man about once a week for the past few weeks.  Last night when the dream seemed to begin, I was partly in this house, partly in the house from when my kids were young.  The couch from my office was there, and my dog had five puppies, and all were under the couch.  My ex sort of looked under the couch and commented on puppies.  I have forgotten about them, and suddenly wondered if they were being fed.  I worried about their socialization, so I got them out and started handling them.  Two were gold, three were black. Then I was having a conversation with the recurring man about two bands that were playing nearby.  Next thing I knew we were in a bathroom, standing in front of a mirror. He came up behind me, rested his chin on top of my head and wrapped his arms around me. I was filled with joy. We just stood there and looked at ourselves, very quietly, for several moments. Then there was something about a message from his mother.  He left. The same two bands we had discussed were playing there - wherever he went...

I looked in a dream dictionary. Mirrors have to do with contemplation and character change. Puppies have to do with recapturing the playful side of self. A bathroom had to do with instinctual urges and self renewal.  An embrace may mean the need for more love or to show more love.

Felt like an important dream for the beginning of this year.  This year of yes!!

Love and hugs from Clare