my prayer

Hi Maggie...

The words that come to me, for your son and your foster sons are - "We have never done this before. We want to do it right.  Since we don't have experience, we have to rely on those who do.  We have to follow their advice."  You say you feel uneasy just taking the older one in right now.  But remember the relief you described when you received that advice.

Follow your intuition.  You will do this right...

Please remind me again of their ages.

I was rereading your summary of the physiological reactions to ongoing stress.  It is definitely more your language than mine.  The part standing out for me today is thinking about cortisol...My son who was hospitalized after birth had a lot of emotional issues as a child.  Some still linger.  I know that it was caused by our separation.  I know his pattern is common.

What I'm wondering now, is how much different is it for a six week old infant who is separated from their mother for 8 or 9 hours each day?  Could this be part of the reason for the epidemic of asthma, obesity, allergies, bullying?

I was talking with someone today about dealing with perfectionism - hers obviously, since we know this is not my gift! We were talking about balance.  If a gift is balanced, it can be used appropriately.

I was thinking about balance.  It is not a single point.  The flowers said years ago - you stop, it's over.  Balance is constant movement.  We have to constantly adjust.  Sometimes something happens that knocks us for a loop.  The struggle to regain balance can take a heroic effort.  But even day to day, we constantly move.  Sort of like standing on a balance beam. We are never still.  We always shift, slightly...I can feel the movement as I try to find words to describe it.

I have been working on an herbal, and thinking about health.  What came to me is that it is important to keep flowing.  As soon as something somewhere in the body stops flowing, an ailment begins to form.  The remedy is to keep things flowing.  Everyone around me has been getting a very contagious sinus infection.  I keep singing my song of moving snot - use steam, lots of hot showers, neti pot...do not let that mucus set up in your sinuses.  Keep it moving.

I am thinking that get it flowing, let it flow might be the answer for everything.  I remember thinking once that the true definition of poverty is to let go of everything, knowing what you need will come to you when you need it.

But the inflammation around us - the banks, the military, the hoarders who prevent the flow...those who need to control. They inhibit poverty and leave many with no food, no clothes, no warmth, no shelter.

It all ties into the gifting society.  We have to be fearless to release, to trust the flow.

I feel blockages - in my body - isn't that the best definition of fat ever? There are blockages in my mind, in my psyche. I see it inflicted on the Earth - everywhere.

I am going to spend time visualizing all of the dams disappearing,  and the salmon swimming upstream, free.  This will be my prayer...

...for the time being.

Love and hugs from Clare