he speaks my mind

Hi Maggie,

I loved the article. I might say, "That friend speaks my mind!"  I absolutely agree with him!  I emailed it to a friend, someone who has included me in plans to begin some ACoA meetings in this area.

We comment occasionally on what it is that you are going to do.  I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps you are going to be the one to make sense of all the various symptoms, reactions, dis-eases connected to being raised in abuse.  Maybe with a base understanding of which types of abuse and intensity are most likely to lead to which types of addictions and responses in later life.

I've always loved seeing the big picture.  It helps so much.

I think, based on observation, that psychological/emotional abuse lead more toward substance addiction. Sexual abuse leads to obesity. But since sexual abuse is usually accompanied by other forms of abuse, substances are also abused...

I'm with you...and with Grandma.  I will sit and endure, not wanting to disrupt anyone else.  I don't want to be any trouble.  I can hear a feeble, little old lady voice saying that.

I had a memory of my oldest child declaring he was going to run away from home when he was about 4 or 5.  I remember running away several times when young. Mom never missed us. She probably appreciated the quiet...but he kept going by with his stuff, then with his younger brother, and finally he asked for the car keys.  I told him I wasn't going to let him have my car...

I didn't laugh at him - out loud. I reasonably stated - no car.  But I did laugh, to myself, to his dad, probably to our mom, and probably when he could hear me.  I remember thinking this was hysterically funny.  It was, but now, I wish I had been the kind of mama who gathered this beautiful boy in my arms and asked why he wanted to run away...and to listen to him...I'm not sure why that memory came out here, but I'm sure it fits, somehow!

Had two interesting dreams over the weekend. In one, my stomach is very uncomfortable. I reach down to sort of hold/adjust it, and I feel a baby kick me. I am pregnant.  My first thought was that my child would be younger than my grandchildren...Then  last night I dreamed I was flintknapping - making tools from flint. I had to hit the flint very forcefully, yet carefully - in an exact position.

I think this is writing the book. Trying to find time to write.  My granddaughter was very two today, making it hard to get anything done.  On these days, I have learned to simply give up and give her my undivided attention.  Then...my daughter called me on the way home and said my granddaughter was in her carseat, insistent that her mama call me and tell me to go outside and see the moon.  It was beautiful, and she was afraid I would miss it!

I did go out, but the moon had set. I stood in the frosty air and looked at the stars instead...I must remember to go outside!!!

Looking forward to how your next weeks unfold...

Love and hugs from Clare