shameless

Hey Maggie,

I don't think it is inappropriate to cry with someone. It just proves that she is worth your tears.  Showing someone they are of worth is never a mistake.  I don;t want a counselor who is distant and professional.  I also don't want someone who feeds my drama,so a certain decorum is necessary.  But quietly shedding tears together is absolute vulnerability. And that is good.

When I read your post about your client, I could feel your emotion. I want an advocate like that!

S#4 was supposed to come tomorrow so we could do our annual kids party/overnight, allowing our kids to go out.  But her grandson has a fever/vomit bug and so she decided not to share.

She may be able to run away early Friday morning - adults only.  We Skyped for a bit this evening, and...hmmmm...I think I started it.  I encouraged her to run away, to say yes. I told her I thought this should be the year we just say yes to everything. Except, sugar.  Then she added wheat and gluten.  I asked her to help me, and promised to help her.

I watched a Netflix series, Grace and Frankie.  I really identified with the Frankie character.  She talked about saying yes. Am I brave enough???

I finished a novel I'd been reading, and last night I picked up the three books you sent me...which one??? And I chose Carry On, Warrior.  I usually recoil from Christian literature, but I decided to skim past that and just read.

She decided to change her life by being shameless, by being a reckless truth teller.I am struggling with the idea of shameless.  At one point she asks why be ashamed - she was doing the best she could with what she had at the time. I can only be that kind to someone else...

But Shameless.  I am so used to trying to understand my shame, to dig around in the crevices of my being and find the dirty, shameful parts.   And if I find all those hidden marks and clean them, then what...I will be without shame.

Is that shameless.

Shameless seems like a bad thing. Like a hussy, a pushy, bad girl.

Shameless...Garth Brooks did a song about being Shamelessly in love with a woman...I guess it is about being vulnerable in the face of love. Shameless might just be about being vulnerable in public - not caring who sees.

But I am so used to covering myself up, and hiding in a corner and being a watcher.

Will this be the year of "Yes!"??

Rereading - be open and empathic...be shameless.  Cry in public. It can;t be wrong.

Love and hugs from Clare