gifts from the heart

Clare,

I am taking a few moments for clarity this morning. I just returned from a walk with the dogs and am finishing my walk on the treadmill. I hate the treadmill, but this time of year the weather is so crappy that I don't get out consistently. Today we are making the trek to the Delana family gathering…
less than half of our siblings will be there..
demonstrating how little we are drawn to each other…
we are taking my youngest's girlfriend…
she is mixed race and he is worried about Grampy saying something racist.
I told him to situate her near our youngest sister and Grampy won't dare say anything.

I am looking forward to seeing the family for a short period of time. I find it confusing though…
I've said this before…
no contact for long periods of time..
and then pretending to be close.
I think I'm going to carefully consider my responses this year…
What do I want to share?
Why is this important?

I think I'm going to take some time to observe the inner workings rather than try to dive in…
I sound like you right now.

This morning, as I journaled, I realized how much Christmas has become a celebration of Light for me. It is no longer the stories and myths from religions…
although these are part of my heritage…
It is about giving there gifts of my heart.
Yesterday we had the young teenaged boys with us.
They fit in very well, except they are quiet- unlike the rest of us.
The older one went to the barn with me and then we watched a basketball game together. I don't like basketball, but it was great to be with him and allow him the pleasure of watching. When it was time to take them back the younger told my youngest he didn't want to go back to the home…
my youngest told me that we should let them stay here.
I was so proud of him. He infuriates me often, but he really does have a heart of gold.
Am I ready to parent two boys with a traumatic past?
I think that we have been prepared for this for many years.
I do feel that this is a calling for husband and I…
and our family too.

I will be thinking of you while visiting the family today. I hope that you have a quiet, peace filled day.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie