Fourth Day

Hello Mags,

It's interesting that you connected with B#1's  D#2! S#3 feels very close to her also.  I really don't know any of those kids.  And since my kids don't really like B#1, there's not been much contact.

I talked with B#2's ex-wife recently. B#2 talks to his daughter every single day. I'm not sure who the adult is, who maintains the connection - from the outside it seems very mutual.  But his daughter recently talked to her mom, and was very upset.  She heard her dad drunk for the first time ever.  Our SIL told me he was always so careful to have it together around his kid.  Niece wanted to confront him, deliver ultimatums. SIL wanted to protect her, to keep her from ever knowing her dad drank.  In the end, she recommended some AA type reading and suggested her daughter tread slowly.

I have been wondering about B#2, not exactly worrying, but he's on my mind.  We rushed in and saved him, and now he has the exact same life he had before. He just brought it all with him...of course.

No drama = no attention.  That's the way that works, you know!

I was so happy to read that your boys came for Christmas.  Are you warming to the younger brother also?

We were  escaping the pain, the poking, the name-calling, the total lack of peace, or privacy.  We were escaping that incessant daddy voice that told us we were no good, and we could never do anything right.  Unfortunately by the time we got out, the seed was planted deep.  And it has grown and blossomed...

But I saw something today. Someone was displaying and discussing a lotus - arguably one of the most perfect flowers on Earth. And it grows in the swamp.  It takes swamp conditions to create that beauty...

It made me rethink that dragging toilet paper image.

I have been sugar bingeing since Christmas Eve. I just sent two cranberry loaves away - one went home with my youngest, then I asked Nephew to take the other to a neighbor.  My strength is in not buying sugar in the first place.  But once it is here, my resolve is gone, and addiction takes over.  I gotta get it out of here by New Years Eve - then, no more sugar. I hope I last longer this time!

Nomads move together. They are intimate with their annual range.  A Friend told me once that a matriarchy had a central home point.  The land they stewarded was how far out the could walk from the center in an hour, a half of a day, a day...In a patriarchy, the people know the boundaries.  They stay within them, and guard them from outsiders.

Our Sami part is probably our saving grace, our truly human, connected part.

French lesson (still learning nouns!), book, then a bit of knitting for me...

Love and hugs from Clare