invisible and unheard

Clare,

I had an interesting telephone conversation this morning. A friend of a friend called me about a non-profit she directs- Vision. It's an organization that listens to communities in the county and then develops programs to meet their needs. The ED is a psychologist, and was very interested to hear my training, experience, and goals. I'm not sure exactly what she wants from me. She asked me to meet with her, over coffee, sometime next week. I couldn't tell if she is considering offering me a position in the organization- or just looking for a brain to pick. Either way it is nice to have someone recognize my professional abilities.

So, I am once again refereeing between my two sons. The older is in a dark place right now and everything the younger does pushes him over the edge. Yelling, screaming, crying- everything is escalating to a crisis.
Sometimes I wish I had only girls- they were much easier than boys…
I am trying to remain calm…
not raise my voice…
de-escalate his rage by not feeding into it.
But it is trying.
I remember B#2 tormenting me to the point of screaming- primal screams that hurt my throat.
I hated that out of control feeling that he could evoke.
I don't even remember what he used to do…
but he knew my triggers.
I also remember being ignored during the screaming…
no one cared that I was hurting…
I guess I screamed too many times.

I don't want mine to feel invisible or unheard…
yet I don't want to feed into the frenzy of the rage.
I've just got to trust my gut on this one.

I started putting next semester's classes together. It's going to be a long haul. I have to stay diligent and get the power points created as far ahead as possible so that I can remain calm. Luckily it's a combination of the other courses I've already taught, so I just have to combine knowledge.

We may have snow showers this weekend…
that would be awesome and amazing.
I don't like this 65 degree weather in December.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie