We wash you a Merry Christmas!

Hi Maggie,

Missing you.  My days are full of knitting and the baby, and good news.  One of my closest friend's daughter just got engaged.  There is going to be a celebration sometime soon!

The baby learned We Wash You a Merry Christmas today.  She sang it to herself all day long. After dinner I looked for a few renditions on youtube. We found one of three Irish women singing, with a beautiful violinist walking around stage while playing. The baby asked, "Where's my violin?" So I found a video of my youngest's son's love playing violin at a festival.  The baby's eyes lit up. She was astounded. She said, "That's my....(fill in name of beloved here.)"  When Mama came to get her, she said,  "I want a violin, Mama!"

Still not reveling in the season. Still not sure what we are celebrating.  Still have moments of confusion when I see everyone all caught up in it. Still feeling like an outsider.  Still wondering how many people are faking it.

I guess I feel like everything is tumbling. But it feels like a controlled tumble.  I don't know how else to explain it.

So, I got a ham in the mail today. Mom and Dad sent it for Christmas.  I don't eat anything from a pig.  I haven't for about, I don't know, 16 years.  At first I rolled my eyes, then I sort of shook myself. Why be ungrateful in the face of generosity?  Grow up, Clare.  It's not like I choose perfect gifts for people.  So I decided I would make a ham dinner the weekend after Christmas, and see if maybe I can get all the local family here at one time. So that may be Mom and Dad's gift to me - family dinner with 4/5s of my kids!  Life is always better when I keep remembering- what happens is what is supposed to happen.

Trying to keep up in the race to Christmas. I don't understnad, but obviously I am going anyway!

Love and peace and joy and hugs to you and yours,

Clare