We wait

Hi Maggie,

When I talked to my kids, I told them that I have a 50% chance of carrying the gene.  If I have it, and we don't know if I do, then they have a 50% chance of carrying it also.  I told them that I wanted them to be vigilant about their health, to take care of themselves, to stop smoking...the usual Mama nag, with a little added incentive.

I will wait until Uncle G. shares his results.  I wonder if Uncle J. will be tested, since he's being treated for cancer now anyway.

I don't know if I will be tested.  Most of my life decisions are completely controlled by money, and there's not much beyond the basics that I can afford.   Medical tests are not in my budget.

And I don't think I would ever take Tamoxifen, especially prophylactically, especially for years.  I would definitely do some sort of alternative treatment.  If I had freedom, I would start now.   We'll see what the universe offers me.  It might be continued self-sufficiency, though.

These are the moments when we see who we are, and understand what we believe...

Just as an aside, a friend of mine recently had a robotic hysterectomy.  She regrets it and wishes she would have done more research first. If you want to talk to her, I am pretty sure she would be open.

I look forward to hearing what your Reiki healer says.  I think her insight is so important.

I had a young friend die of ovarian cancer at age 35. In the last month of her life, she told her mom that the mom's best friend's husband had molested and abused her.  Her mom and I stood under a tree at a festival, without moving for over three hours as she spilled this to me. People were beginning to make jokes...But we both agreed that the cancer was in the reproductive organs because these organs held the abuse. 

You said your lesions are in the area that holds the echo of your sexual abuse.  Could your Reiki healer help clear that? Would that be appropriate?

You are beautiful because you have a laughing, generous spirit.  The shell does not matter.  The soul does. And you have a graceful soul.

Love and hugs,

Clare