Hi Maggie,
My internet has been spotty all day long. It has made everything tricky - since I need it for work. It's back and so I wanted to get here, just in case. Then I have to catch up on writing reports.
Just checked our cousin's cancer blog and saw that she put out a general notice to the rest of the family about the CHEK2 gene. You got a big mention. When we first talked, I thought it was primarily breast cancer, so I spoke with both of my daughters. Upon reading a bit more, I now know I have to talk to my sons also. This isn't a breast cancer gene.
Both of my parents-in-law died of cancer. My kids will have to be extra-diligent.
Stopping to admire beauty, stopping to sing - that is the way to healing. That is the way to live a long and happy life.
Thinking about being mortal - the quote goes something like - Enjoy life, no one gets out alive. But I started thinking about losing people - losing siblings and friends. I think we get to the point where we want to go. The idea is not to be first, yet not to stay too long...maybe. And not to end up deaf and blind in a nursing home.
I had a dream, once, about a garden that was so beautiful, it healed people who entered it. Sometimes I want to create this. Be surrounded by healing plants that heal on many levels.
There's never enough time.
Maybe that's why mortal feels so frightening.
But it also seems like a gift. Remember when Aunt T. was dying - also of cancer? Mom and her siblings took the time to spend together. Aunt T. made time for her kids. It was a gift because the end was in sight. The letter she sent everyone for Christmas went right to my heart with its beauty and awareness. It's too bad we can't live like that all the time - in intense awareness. But maybe it's too much for our poor human bodies to hold.
Maybe we're supposed to spill out on each other. Maybe we are each supposed to be fountains of joy.
Instead, I am just tired.
Okay, back to work for me...I'll check back later,
Love and hugs,
Clare
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