In need of wisdom

So, all day long my sons have been texting me, from school, asking to go out after school…
one has detention for cursing…
I told them to come home and then we could discuss it…
they continue to text…
the younger one sent 12 text messages and 2 phone calls…
all the same answer…come home and we will figure it out.
Well, I got home and he - once again- blew up about what a b#*^h I am and how he makes me hate this house. He asked me what I have done to make him feel loved and welcomed here…
I pointed out the obvious, last weeks 4 day sickness…
He wanted to know another example.
Do men ever remember anything????
It's like the man who just had sex and wants it again…
hello, we just did that!
Yeah but that was so yesterday!

Sorry, I am so TIRED of male energy right now…
I want to "get me to a nunnery".
Everything I do is short lived and forgotten…
my first married song was "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole…
and yet no one remembers what I do an hour or a day later.

I just arrived home from the reiki healer…
she told me that transitions are coming my way…
and decisions that will require me to consider my needs first…
that's a lot to ask of me…
but I am willing to do that…
I am willing to consider my needs, because I believe that will serve the greater good.

So, help me to remain consistent with these boys…
part of me wants to cave and take the road of least resistance…
but then that song, "I Hope You Dance" plays in my head and I don't want to settle…
I want to be strong and consistent, but remain flexible.
This stage sucks! It REALLY sucks!

AM I being to strict- to avoid them turning out like our brothers?
I wonder if some of my reactions are based on subconscious memories.
Am I responding or am I reacting?
I can't tell.

I need some distance to see the big picture.
I need some insight and advice.
Any wisdom?
Maggie