Clare,
I have been thinking a lot today…
weirdly on the verge of tears…
It is funny, when I requested the genetic tests I knew they would be positive…
but when I heard the words it was such a shock.
I cannot imagine what it must feel like to hear the words, "you've got cancer". because just knowing I am one damaged cell away from cancer is making me damned uncomfortable.
I spoke with Mom…
explained it all to her.
She listened…
didn't offer much advice…
I asked her to share the information…
she said she felt inadequate to explain it…
"maybe they should all just call you"…
well, over half of them won't so maybe YOU should just take this on.
I am going to speak with a genetic counselor and then make some choices about screenings, preventive measures. I don't want to live my life any more hyper-vigilant than I already am…
I want to trust my body…
I am willing to take care of my body…
listening to it for signs of stress or disease….
and I want my kids to know their risks…
particularly the ones who are smoking and exposing themselves to carcinogens.
I was told by my reiki friend that the universe would be offering me optional paths to journey on…
I am trying to see where all of this is going.
Not sure…but searching.
Love and Light,
Maggie
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