Croning

Trust...just trust.  Choose a counselor you trust, and follow their requests. If they want to see you as a group, you go as a group. If they want to see just the parents or just the sons...do it.  If the counselor wants to see any of you individually - do it.  Don't try to out-think or over-control the program.

You are all stepping out into the Light.  Don't retreat.

I haven't talked about it, but I have been having fairly regular talks with my son and his wife.  They are also stepping out into the Light.  I think it's blinding and terrifying.  For everyone!  For them, for your sons maybe, it's like healing frostbite. After tissue is frozen, normal healthy temperatures burn.

Maybe it's this eclipse...it's a doozy...

The intersection of your family awakening and the pain involved and the opening up of my son and his wife...writing here about my ex's lies and his lifestyle...looking at some of the family patterns I see with my kids, and saw with my in-laws and comparing it all to us, our family of origin...

This morning I was furious. I was livid, absolutely furious with my parents-in-law, my ex and with our parents.

I was remembering Mom and Dad taking the little girls to their summer cabin on the creek and leaving you and S#3 in a party house with older teens. You were not protected - none of you were protected.  Then, later, Mom scolding and berating S#3 for flirting with Aunt J's husband.  Mom basically accused S#3 of being a whore.  She allowed her child to be sexually abused, then labeled her.  I was so mad.  I am so mad. 

I had a middle of the night experience again - the first in a long time. Ever since your Reiki healer told us to work first on forgiving ourselves, I have been scanning myself at night, looking for frozen places.  Last night I found a round thing - like a bowling ball.  I started to open it up and it was an infant, and it was me. As I stretched the legs, the infant panicked and grabbed my shoulder where it joins my neck and tried to climb inside of me. She was clawing and biting and her eyes were wide with terror.

I soothed her, held her close, but refused to let her climb back in.  She is now allowing me to cradle her and nurture her, but her eyes are still terror.

What happened to us?

I will hold you and your family in the Light.  I will surround you with as much love as I can muster.  Please do the same for your godson.

We will get through this. We will get through this together and we will be a better family for it. Your sons will thrive, as will mine.

The Crone has spoken...with love...and with maternal authority!!!


I love you, I wish I could hug you...

Clare