Holding you in the Light

It's okay, sweetheart.  Be scared.  Be vulnerable.  Be real.  I love you.

I didn't sleep last night, worried about you and S#3.  Today I found out that neither you nor S#3 slept either. We need a bat signal so we can do 3-way Skype in the middle of the night. I also  found out that S#3 is going to be okay.

When we spoke earlier today, you said you felt like you have no choices.  After we hung up, it dawned on me that you did have a choice.  You made a choice.  You chose to have the genetic test done.  You chose to have a mammogram.  You chose to let your husband set up appointments with an array of doctors. 

I found some advice from Erma Bombeck for you:  Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I talked to Mom earlier this week and she said S#5 has colitis.  Now with your scare and with the recent medical procedures B#4 has gone through- I'm feeling a bit more mortal.

Vulnerable by association!

Maybe the universe is asking you to be joyful and to celebrate. Notice the daffodils.  Feel them in your heart.  Notice how funny your sons are.  Watch clouds. Make costumes and feel passionate about things.

But I don't know for sure- what is the universe asking of you?  of any of us?

Maybe we are being asked to face mortality, to make decisions about our time here, the quality of our time here. 

Maybe we are bring asked to look at our patterns and release those that don't serve us.

Will be thinking about this, about you...holding you in the Light.

Sending loves and hugs.  Let me know as son as you know anything.

Love from Clare