splashing

Honey,


You have my sympathy. You have my love. You have my support anyway you need it.

What you have been enduring has been difficult and painful.  But you are getting answers.  You are finally getting answers. You have had amazing breakthroughs with both of your sons this week. It hasn't been easy...but you have answers.

What has been so very beautiful is that as each of the boys broke down, their brother helped them.  They had each other in their hearts when the pain was worst.  And both broke down, reached that soft point with you.  You are all being vulnerable together.

Splashing in the swamp.  Maybe that's how we find each other.

Splashing in the swamp...that's when we were told to shut up and be still - and don't tell anyone - by our parents.

This hurts, but this is the walking back through the swamp we talk about.  And we know it is painful and scary.  We know there is always the chance of going under.  But you are on solid ground under the murk.

I knew we walked back through to find ourselves, now I am learning we walk back through to find our children.

So this is Good Friday. We have to come through the dark of this day in order to achieve resurrection.

You are amazing. You are strong.  You are resilient.  You are alive enough to feel pain and fear. 

So your sons are in the open right now.  How are you?  Are you taking care of yourself, too?  If you were your doctor, would you be satisfied with the care you give yourself?

I am exhausted.  I am going to sleep.

I love you. I honor you.

Clare

- And you're right.  It's not a contest. When I said you won, I was trying to be funny - to use humor to acknowledge that you have had such a difficult week.  I had hoped you would smile...