Sorry for the loss of your friend

I am deeply sorry for your loss…
you are right, she is on the other side.

I, too have spoken to my kids about the gene- 3 want tests the oldest son feels as if he doesn't want to know.
You have the potential for carrying this gene…your kids are only at risk of inheritance if you got it from Mom- that's a 50-50 proposition. So, before you tell your kids to be tested you should be. If you do not have the gene then there is no way that they do. So, the first step is for you to decide if you want to know this piece of information. Part of that consideration is what will you do with the information once you have it. Assuming a negative result- your life is at no greater risk than the general population. But if you are positive then you will need to increase your health vigilance- watch for signs of lung, kidney, colon, breast or ovarian cancers. You may be asked to take Tamoxifen for 5 years to reduce the risks of breast and ovarian. You might want to know simply to advise your children about their risks.

I am heterozygous positive- meaning I have one normal gene and one mutated gene- unfortunately this is a dominant gene so it only takes one copy to cause disease. Assuming Mom is heterozygous as well- you have a 50% chance of having the mutation AND yet a 50% chance of having 2 normal genes for this protein. Our uncle, whose daughter is currently fighting breast cancer, is being tested. His result will tell us if he and his siblings are heterozygous or homozygous (having 2 copies of the mutated gene). That will tell us a lot about our generation. You can wait for that result- it should be back soon I believe and then be better able to calculate your risk.

Because I have the mutation, and a first degree relative (mom) and a second degree relative (aunt) with breast cancer my lifetime risk increases to 45 - 50%.
That, in conjunction with this lump in my breast make me fairly certain that it is malignant. I am not in a panic. I am concerned, but not obsessed.
I am trying to think about my priorities and make my mind clearer for the decisions that will be necessary. I am allowing myself to be distracted by the costuming project- great timing to help me through all of this.
I am trying to be patient with myself and my kids- and husband.
He really believes this is serious- I can see it in his eyes. He also has told me that he will think I am beautiful even if I have no breast or hair. He is trying to be supportive, but his words seem painfully clear- he's seen the mammogram and he is scared.
My gynecologist told me that if they want to remove "tits and ovaries" she can do the ovaries robotically…weirdest conversation ever!

It's all very surreal. The waiting is a blessing and a curse. I see my Reiki healer this evening- it will be interesting to hear her impressions of all of this. The lump lays directly under the area where I hold all of the male-induced trauma- something that I haven't been able to free up yet.
Life is interesting.
I love you for your help and support- and for just being you, Clare.

Love and Light,
Maggie