I see you on a high wire, keeping your balance so beautifully. That doesn't mean you don't tip occasionally. Or that you would be a bit more stable with support...
I have talked to three of my kids now about the gene, now. Just need some time with the last two.
My weekend was so busy...like so busy I could only experience and not think. But there were a few golden moments.
I was a 4-H leader for years. And I have done a lot of volunteer work for the Forest Service as well as many other environmental organizations. This weekend we were part of an Arbor Day celebration and we helped plant twenty American Elm trees. The university has been developing a resistant variety. We planted them in a pasture in the national forest, where they will be monitored as part of an effort to restore the species.
My daughter-in-law organized the event. My son was there to assist. All three of my local grandkids were with us - the youngest in my arms since her mama was working. I watched my grandson help - dive right in and want to do everything the rest of the group was doing. I saw his dad shining through at that age. And I watched my son dig and plant. I felt the circle. I felt the spiral of life. I felt the mortality that has been making me uncomfortable this week, but suddenly I felt the beauty and balance.
After we all went home, my daughter-in-law called. My grandson was very upset and disappointed, because he thought he was supposed to come to my house. Suddenly I had two more for an overnight. My ex was here for the youngest's first birthday celebration. We ended up taking the three grandkids to the grocery story. It was a surreal moment. Again, the past and the present seemed to merge. It was weird, because he is essentially a stranger in many ways - we share little in terms of day-to-day life, yet we were with our grandchildren...
I don't know...I am exhausted. I'll strive for coherence tomorrow.
I love you. Let me know if you need me,
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment