Providence came through...

I wonder what is behind that dynamic of promising and then reneging? I wonder why Dad promises help and support and then pulls it away only to make us feel abandoned and unwanted?

I remember about 6 weeks before my last child was born He and Mom came to visit, on their way back from our youngest sibling's house and they had recently returned from TX. He walked into my house and announced that Mom would not be returning when I had the baby because they were sick of traveling. I was deeply hurt, especially considering the fact that they drove out of their way to tell me this news. I was angry at him and then became angry with Mom because she knew he was going to do this...she could have stopped him or at least buffered it...but she didn't come into the room.

So did Dad make the promise of transporting furniture or giving a house away or was Mom trying to be helpful and he agreed or does he really swing from one extreme to another?
I am wondering if there is a "bipolarity" to the behavior...
the offer is made with a sense of authentically wanting to be good, and then there is a tug-of-war in the mind that overwhelms the generosity, fears being taken advantage of, and regrets the gesture.
What if I am being taken advantage of???
Why would I travel out of my way and do extra work when they are younger than I?
These kids are ingrates...
You can almost hear the words being said.

I sometimes regret offering to help others, but I almost never don't follow through because I made a promise. I am not sure that promises mean a lot in our family.

I had an interview today for a domestic violence position. The first question was "How did you prepare for this interview today?" I looked her in the eye and said I did not study or cram before the interview, but that I have been preparing to help victims of violence my whole life." The interview was a good experience. I felt free to speak about my strengths and my weaknesses honestly. I felt really connected to several of them. Providence came through.

I am going to visit my horses.
I hope that you are having a quiet day.
Love and Light,

Maggie