I see your point on the judgmental aspect of our lives.
I guess I look at some of those things with a different perspective...
in my previous profession I was paid to observe, inquire, examine, create a list of possibilities and then choose the one that made the most sense. I got paid to do all of that, it was called diagnosis, which sounds a whole lot more positive than judgmental. I guess I have been fooling myself that my thoughts about others were based upon evidence...not assumptions.
I will have to be more aware of my thoughts and judgements.
I do believe that we judge ourselves most harshly.
For me it generally begins with the physical...especially when I am at the beach.
I compare my body size to those that I see...
on the beach, the trails, and around the island.
I am brutal to myself about my body and lack of will power to lose weight. I expect more of myself than to let myself eat and enjoy food. It really takes a lot of fun out of life. I feel healthy but am dissatisfied with the way that I look in clothes, particularly bathing suits.
I still can feel how badly it felt to be called "fat" at home so many years ago.
Perhaps we do call ourselves names and demean ourselves so that no one else has to do it for us...or because it is consistent with what others might say and that makes us right about something.
I found myself walking along the beach this afternoon trying to listen.
It is a windy day and the combination of wind and surf was quite loud.
I found myself looking at the patterns in the sand left by small shells that partially embedded themselves into the sand. The water left a V shaped area in the sand extending towards the ocean. I started to think about how one, small, steadfastly planted shell could alter the sand, even though the waves swirled around them. So, I can create an ever-expanding impact upon my world...just as we all can. We just have to risk taking a stand.
I am sorry for your daughter and granddaughter...teething is no fun. Everyone suffers.
I hope that is goes quickly for you.
Today I walked in a maritime forest, by a marsh, and on a beach.
Each had very distinct plants and sounds.
I watched pelicans, deer, sandpipers, and fox.
I still have not seen the alligators that are in the lagoons.
I love this island because of the variety it offers...and the lack of commercialization.
I also love the uncrowdedness and unhurriedness of it.
I have not seen the facebook posts from our youngest sibling, although husband told me she gushed about having her parents close by and in her life. I am happy for her, but am afraid that her expectations may be deflated living that close by. I am also afraid that our parents may have difficulty adjusting to a totally strange environment. I am amazed that they could just toss their "home" and move on like that. I have also seen many older people become quite disoriented when taken out of familiar surroundings and circumstances. I hope that they can adjust well.
I am being called back to the family...
Blessings,
Maggie
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