true healing

Clare,

I wrote a short journal article about resilience from the perspective of one who outwardly has had it for years, but inwardly has struggled to find it. I came to the conclusion that resilience has levels or degrees and that there are 3 of them..surprise another trinity.
level 1...experiencing an intensely stressful experience and maintaining function through it. (I found that definition on a navy website) so the victim...a type of resilience that allows them to function though traumatized.
level 2...successfully using coping skills to minimize or repress the trauma but able to participate in daily life...healthy and unhealthy coping skills in play here...but the person is participating and contributing to life...the survivor
level 3...reaching out of the shame, connecting honestly with others, retrieving the lost pieces of self left behind at the trauma, integrating back to wholeness, self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-love...the thriver

I think that currently therapists and counselors are content to bring people to level 2...that's considered success...
unfortunately that leaves people still fractured...unable to open and trust...
It is in the disclosure of the secrets and shining the Light into the dark corners of the memory where healing happens.

You probably are correct that many of the healers are only steps ahead of their clients.
They are probably learning much from their interactions with clients.
It amazes me that counselors and therapists are just beginning to talk about allowing a relationship develop between therapist and client...the professionals were supposed to maintain themselves above their clients to avoid transference and countertransference...but it comes across as arrogance and a power-over interaction. The only way to help another is to be open to them...sharing parts of yourself that are appropriate and don't take the focus off the client. I think therapists keep clients at a distance because they don't want them realizing how broken they are as well. I have a therapist who has walked a similar path to me. while she has never shared details, she has allowed me to know enough that I have developed trust for her and her insights and advice.

This all gives me hope though...healing is becoming more relational...it's about telling our stories and empathizing with each other...ME TOO bridges many gaps...people are meant to help each other...they are meant to reach out and offer compassion and support...if more people did this spontaneously we would have a political debate about entitlements...we would willingly and lovingly share abundance until all had enough.
People were never meant to hurt each other, to exploit each other, to abuse each other...our society needs to shine the Light on this...

Love and Blessings,
Maggie