Maiden or bitch...I guess it's time we choose bitch

It's funny that you talk about making this blog more "public"...
I mowed the yard this afternoon...mulling over the effects of that movie and my recent readings on resilience...and I am composing an essay in my head...an essay that I imagined I would submit for publication...publically making a bold statement about abuse.

Maybe it is time to tell the siblings of our writings...I will let you decide that...I did not get a sense from S#5 if she is open to deeper conversation or just wanted to briefly reach out. I do have a strong sense that Mom is not wanting to dive deeper...she has once again shied away from real conversation with me.
But the purpose of letting them know that this is here is to allow them to access our thoughts and our journey...they do not have to read...they don't have to participate...they are free to ignore this for the rest of their lives...at least they will be aware.

My thoughts on resilience are that professionals don't understand the depth of the wounds. When they see a person who tells them of a history of abuse they assume the person has resilience if they are outwardly OK. They fail to understand the masks and armour that is worn to keep others at a distance. They fail to see that despite being in relationships, their relationships are not healthy because the person cannot trust anyone, sometimes not even them self.
So I propose that there are 2 levels of resilience;
First survivor's resilience- that which allows them to participate in daily life, despite the wounds they carry.
Second thriver's resilience- that which comes from deep self awareness, healing and growth and allows the person to regain wholeness...gather those pieces of our self that were left behind or hidden away during the abuse...this is the goal...this is what healers should guide to.

I wonder if it will make sense when I write it? I am going to use the ideas for a journaling assignment that I have to do for class and see where it takes me.

Your thoughts on extended maiden-hood are interesting and very insightful...we do want that youth...but it is in reality associated with being powerless...dependent...
We shy away from being a bitch...an insult to most women...but a bitch is really a women who is willing to be strong in the face of power...demanding equality and respect...protecting her own...
What a concept...you could develop that idea...it rings true.

Love and Blessings,
Maggie