I knew the beginning of the week was tough for you - with no spare time. So I wasn't worried. But I did miss you. I look forward to this exchange every day.
The trinities may all be cyclical, but some of them definitely move us forward. This may be like the circling up and away, the movement/process you described early in this sharing. We see issues over and over, but from a different perspective.
Logically, I get "wild". I understand the definition. But I haven't found the words or understanding that make me gasp, "Aha!" and sigh and integrate the concept and know how to use it, to make it mine. I know someone will say the right word or I will read the right sentence - something. I remember taking calculus, and I simply didn't understand derivatives. I asked the prof for help and he said the same thing several times, then suddenly I got it. The brain has to settle a little. Or shift. I am anticipating recognizing the wild part of me, then moving her into a more prominent role in my life!
My daughter and her friend were working on a paper about perceived feminine beauty and cultural influences. The two of them had a big "aha!" moment when they realized the rampant steroid use indicated that young men have similar body issues. The same is true for the young men you saw in the film. It is heartbreaking that we allow children to be damaged, generation after generation.
Several years ago, I was at a Quaker youth retreat, as an adult support person, when an intense discussion broke out about papers the adults were asked to sign promising not to be sexually inappropriate with any of the teens. No one had ever been inappropriate before. This was instigated by an insurance company, who I suppose was off the hook, just in case something happened. But it was also pushed forward by a woman who had been molested and raped by a stepfather from the time she was a toddler. It has supremely influenced who she is. Because of reactions to the paper, suddenly everyone was sharing. All but one adult in that room had been the victim of violent and/or sexual assault. As people spoke, I sat there with tears streaming down my face, my heart breaking for these people I had known for so many years. We all moved forward, shadowing our pain, hunched over it, keeping it from public notice.
Your account of the young man wondering why if family treated him so bad he could expect anything different from a stranger resounded with me. I don't know if I wrote this before, but I remember my logic as a child: Your parents have to love you. It's a rule. If Dad doesn't love me, there must be something really wrong with me.
I remember looking in the mirror and trying to discern what was broken, what was not okay with me...
I agree with you - what a sad society we live in.
As for S#5, it really doesn't matter who disconnected from who. Those are the dramas that keep us separate. It obviously is not quite time to work together on this.
I read a beautiful passage last night that I wanted to share with you. From The Elegant Gathering of White Snows, this is one of the characters that has been attending a weekly support/study group with seven other women.
"...During the past sixteen or so months, I have listened to and watched each one of them expose a torturous moment in their lives that has drawn them to this moment. A rape, death, lost love, mental illness, the bumps and dips of life - there is a story of great loss or love or longing that has slowly worked its way loose from each one of their souls.
"And oh, my God, how I have relished watching them turn to face themselves in the mirror. The transformation, the relief - the relief has been an amazing portrait of life. Everything that I have done and seen has flashed before my eyes once again because of them..." (-Kris Radish)
This is what we are doing. And this is the poetic description of the "Me too!"
Hugs and kisses and lots of love to you tonight!! C.
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