do the dance

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I understand addiction. I stopped eating sugar, felt great and thought I would never go back. Once I felt clean,I thought I would stay clean.  But now I am fighting cravings.  But I also noticed I am having some repeating, obsessive, escapist thought cycles.  It's one way of retreating from life...I escape into daydreams and what ifs and woulda-shouldas.  I never connected the thought patterns to bad food choices before.

Then, to add to my thoughts, I read the article below. Apparently,I am back in my addictive patten because I am feeling disconnected. I think that's probably true, because many of my obsessive thought patterns involve connections. But I also think I have regrown some yeast, and am out of balance again - just beginning to tip. I need to regain my balance.  I guess I need the dance - one physical step mirrored by one emotional step.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html


Logical consequences are a valuable way to parent.  But I think it needs to be paired with a sense of security.  He can fail, but you're still family.  He still belongs. 

I was not spending a lot of time with S#3 during her divorce, so I don't know details like you do. So I will trust you when you say the kids were trapped in the middle.  I think my marriage was shredding at the same time, and so I was caught in my own pain and drama.

There is a stray cat hanging around, so nephew and I have been feeding him. We made a makeshift mini-shelter for him. Yeah, I rescue strays.  That is how we got our cockatiel.  Someone who knew I am good with animals called and asked if I could please take him. He had been in several homes and people just put him in the back room because he made noise.  I kept him in my office and let him out of the cage when I wasn't working. Of course, he did not like me. He liked my youngestbest until the day he died.

I would have a huge rescue, also. I would be surrounded by creatures that need to be healed and to be loved.

I had a committee meeting here tonight.  I am left thinking about the people we are drawn to work with. They are often our greatest teachers.

I love you, Sleep well...

Clare