choices...

Clare,

You have a heart that is expansive and can hold others' pain…
you are empathetic…
that is the polar opposite of sociopath…
cherish that aspect of yourself.

You can hold victims and perpetrators in the Light…
because along the way all of us are victims.
You may or may not be able to directly help those children in that particular refugee village…
but you can help those you see in your own sphere…
you can help the people and animals that come into your life…
be ready with a yes whenever the question of love and dignity of any life form is posed.

I yearn for opportunity to do things that are greater than myself.
I am waiting for those opportunities.
I was trying to explain that to a man yesterday who was talking about salaries instead of purpose.
Even in social work the value is placed on the salary rather than the sense of satisfaction and soulfulness of the actual work. I have been told by several men recently that I should reactivate my medical license- it's the path that makes the most sense, they say. The first time I heard this I said I would consider it. I did consider it. I'm not interested in medicine at this point. I had the opportunity to reactivate my license, but I chose to study social work. I didn't want 15 minutes with each patient and the sense that I was only valuable because I had the power to prescribe controlled substances. I wanted an hour to listen and converse. I love spending time with people. But, there has to be a way to do that and make a living wage.

I will look at the alternatives to violence curriculum/materials for the anger management group. I am also interested in incorporating yoga or guided meditation in the sessions. The research says healing helps when we reconnect our minds and bodies.

Yesterday I was offered more hours at the non-profit, 30 hours a week. It would allow me to continue to do therapy one day per week, so I could maintain contact with some of my clients. I am going to accept this for 6 months and see how it feels. So I'll be testing the waters with individual therapy, working with ex-convicts, and doing policy/community organizing simultaneously. I think that's a fair way to compare.

I also "friended" our cousins…both the twins. I didn't friend their sister. I'm not sure why. I am uneasy about them seeing glimpses of my life. It's a strange reaction to a (virtual) reconnection. I am perfectly content with no cousin contact, on Dad's side, except for the very occasional family function when one or two of the female cousins show up. I can always block their posts if they become intrusive.

I hope that you have a wonderful day. I am holding you in the Light beautiful sister,
Maggie