WAR -

War Within
You are allowed to feel anyway you need to feel.  You can explore and experience any emotions and emotions tangled together in awkward pairings. It is all okay.  And you have a right to be frightened.  It would be naive of you to expect that everything will be perfect now.  We struggle.  Life is always a struggle with sublime moments of beauty - those are what keep us going. And sometimes we can get more and more of them...sigh...

No offense to your husband, but you have had the role of single parent for a long time...or so it seems from the outside.  And it is exhausting. I did it for years.  And not having back-up, not having anyone to listen, to understand, not being able to share worries especially with someone who was as passionate about them as I was - it was beyond difficult.  It was cold and lonely and...no one should have to do this. But the trade off was that I got the kids...I got the pleasure as well as that pain, they are my family.

Just remember - you promised to trust, but they also promised to be honorable.

War Without
I have been thinking about what is going on in our country.  The riots in Ferguson seem tied to the Native American declaration of war if the US government  tries to push the pipeline through sovereign lands seems tied to the expose of Bill Cosby as serial rapist, which is making women more aware of being prey and less afraid of outing the rapists...We are all prey...black, indigenous, female.  And war is staring on all fronts. In my region, people are being arrested every day, blocking trucks of an oil company who wants to develop the land next to our lake.  It is a beautiful, nonviolent war.

I am very   excited.  I think this is important. I am not sure what my role is, but I know I must do something. 

I hope you enjoy your holiday.  I am sorry you won't be at the island...

Love and hugs,

Clare