Clare,
I find myself in a terrible mood today. It's been building, feeling frustration and anxiety since last week in AZ. The more I consider it, I believe it stems from the fact that my boys are going to both be back home. I sound like a terrible, horrible mother for saying that. I really enjoyed having time for me. Working without worrying about who was getting into something or avoiding something. Cooking whatever pleased me. Going to bed when I felt I needed to, not waiting up for someone to come home. I liked living without kids at home. That sounds so bad.
I am concerned about trying to take on a new job with the boys home. There will be travel and longer hours away from home. I will have to trust that they are keeping promises and fulfilling responsibilities.
I will have to trust.
I promised to trust.
I admit I am afraid to trust too much, because what if…?
I am taking my mood out on everybody around me. I'm snapping out at people and animals. I'm in the mood to huddle under my blankets and just hide. But, husband's brother's family is coming tomorrow so I have to keep cooking. I think I'm going to do something mindless like peel apples and just listen to music, that should soothe me.
I will look at the requirements for the Woolman Semester. He is lacking a junior english credit, so I don't know if he would be eligible to graduate without making that up. I will investigate.
Love and Light,
Happy Cooking,
Maggie
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