fighting the tears

Thanks Clare,

I've been fighting off tears for weeks now.
When I think of my diagnosis.
When I think of my surgery.
When I heard that there was no spread of the cancer.
When I think of the events that led to my first trip to Arizona.
When I think of leaving my boy with complete strangers thousands of miles from home.
When I realized that I had reached out to S#5- someone I hadn't communicated with in about a year- for help.
When I think of the lessons learned from that first trip.
When I remember my optimism that all would be well again.
When I remember those drop off and pickups of my youngest that went so awry.
When I think of the phone call from school, Come and gather his things, he is no longer allowed to be here.
When I think of leaving him- this time with friends.
When I read over his letters and witness the amazing growth he's had in seven short weeks.
And I fight the tears because it is all so overwhelming. 2014 has been overwhelming and yet I've had incredible growth and found peace and resolution to many of my issues.
I need to let it all flow.
Maybe in the desert it will flow.
Maybe I'll shed enough tears to create another spring in the desert.
That's a beautiful thought.

Peace is flowing like a river.
Flowing out of you and me.
Love is flowing out into the desert.
Setting all the captives free.

Thanks for helping me to understand my emotions and listlessness. I needed to be reminded to reflect rather than just push forward. I need to allow myself that vulnerability.
Thank you for being here, day in and day out.
I shall return on the 23.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie