Try to explain myself

Clare,

I will try to explain myself better.

Our experiences remain in our mind forever, they also effect each and every cell in our body.
But, does the math lesson from third grade hold power over us?
Do we maintain hyper vigilance because of the short story we wrote in middle school?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that traumatic memories are illusion- held onto and given power by our choice to cling to them. We keep them alive and present. We allow them to define who we are, how we react, the choices we make. They are relics of past events- but those events are in the past and we are called to live in the present. Allowing the trauma to influence our life in the present continues to reinforce the trauma, reinforce the identity that trauma assigned to us (victim), and hold part of us hostage. We continue to repeat because we allow the leash to connect us to the traumatic events, the violations. I really believe that to live beyond being a victim/survivor I need to cut the leash, leave it in the past, learn the lessons that the experiences taught me, and honor myself as a thriver. That's what the work of the past several years, here with you, has taught me.

I love the pillars of Light vision that you had. What a powerful reminder that we are all divine energy placed in these challenging weighted bodies. I appreciate you including me in your image.
Interestingly enough I had a very depressed and anxious client yesterday, crying in my office. I listened to her talk, and was helpless against the weight of her depression. I told her I did not know what to say to her, how to make it go away, but I listened. I had the inspiration to take her through a guided meditation. I closed my eyes and started at her feet and asked her to visualize Light coming from the ground into her feet, talked her all the way up her body, and finally asked her to imagine Light coming from the top of her head- I had created a pillar of Light for her. I'm not sure it helped or not, but I love the synchronicity of our thoughts.

I had a letter from my youngest yesterday. He was grappling with my marital separation. I think I told you he felt it was "worthless" and "pointless". I explained my perception of life before the separation, the work I did during and following the separation, and the changes in my relationship with husband. Husband also wrote his side of the story, in his own words. Son#2 wrote a very thoughtful response to all of that. Saying that he finally understands it, thanking me for my courage to step out of status quo in order to make life more real and authentic. I knew he was confused by it all, but he would not talk about it. I guess he was finally ready to hear the story.

I have to get ready for work.
Love and Light to you- a beautiful pillar of Light
Maggie