travel well

Happy Trails, Sister!

You are getting out of Dodge just before the first good storm of the season!  Nice timing!

I liked the idea of a desert  spring. I actually projected forward to the season.  By then, maybe, all will be back on an even keel.

I was thinking about the romance movies, about the magic moment of vulnerability. I realized I had failed to note, or to notice the second step - the returned vulnerability. One person steps into the Light, the other must also do the same. It is a little easier to be the second one, I think.   But vulnerability is always chancy.

I have the baby overnight tonight.  We listened to A Prairie Home Companion.  I told my daughter I was going to indoctrinate her daughter.  I had a moment when I remembered listening to this show before I had babies.  Now I am listening with my grandbabies.  Sometimes I feel a bit - long lived.

I have always enjoyed the show, because Garrison Keillor is so good at identifying human nature and lovingly presenting us to ourselves.  I cried one night many years ago, as he explored a marriage that was just existing, because sometimes that is just what it is.

Tonight he sang a list of excuses for why we can't go home for Thanksgiving. The first verse had to do with remembering some childhood events, and the therapist recommends more time...I laughed, probably because it hit so close to home.  But it reminded me that we are not the only reluctant children of a violent family life.  It is pervasive enough in this culture to be funny.

It's funny when I consider my reluctance to go to Mom and Dad.  But it is terribly painful when it is directed at me from my children.

Later, when he was telling his weekly story form Lake Woebegone, he was talking about a teacher who was encouraging her students to volunteer why they are lucky. The last was profound - the student said we are lucky because we belong. We have a place and a people and we belong.

That hit hard.  I have been dreaming about the farm where we lived when the kids were young.  I am not sure why, or what I am working on. I wondered if I am supposed to move back there.  But that would mean leaving home. This is home.  Finally, this is home...

So, how will I entertain myself until you get back home???  I guess we'll see.

I really want to hear how this week differs from your experience with your oldest son.

Until next week, Love and hugs...

C.