pillars

Hi Maggie,

I had a powerful reaction to one thing you said - Painful memories are not figments of our imaginations.  We did not invent them.  They are scars and relics of actual events.  I think we circle around them, either connected by a leash, afraid to look at them - and so we go around and around forever, always repeating. Or we loosen and break the leash and cycle out and up and away, always seeing them from a new perspective, always learning.

I had an amazing experience last night. You know I am worried about my son and his wife.  Every night I picture them in my heart's eye and I send them messages of love and I surround them in Light. I try to feel connection. Last night I was looking at the two of them, feeling their pain and disillusionment, and I asked, "Who are you?"  The question came from nowhere, and I was not thinking that I didn't know them. But the question came...and the answer followed. They each grew taller and became these amazing pillars of Light. They were each shaking out the masks that they are wearing in this lifetime.  They were so glowingly beautiful. So I looked around, and each of my children, their beloveds, and then my grandchildren also transformed into pillars of Light. Each was a tiny bit different. It was beautiful and heartening.  The little dog had to go outside, and so I went to let him out, and the big old trees I love in the back edge of my yard became pillars of Light, all of the trees around me became Light. And I was Light, too.

It reminded me we are just playing roles, trying on skin for a lifetime, to learn and experience, and maybe even to heal.  I think our biggest lesson might have to do with forgiveness and acceptance, and learning not to hurt anyone or anything else.

The baby had a hard time falling asleep tonight, and so I am exhausted.  I am working Saturdays for the time being.  More exhaustion.

I hope you can balance the work you must do with your son with your husband and with your other responsibilities.  And your son is older now.  He should be able to take some of the responsibility, also.  Is there any chance he can return to the boarding school?

Holding you in the Light...remember you are a pillar!!

With love andLight...C.