I think our hearts work too hard. There's no relief, no respite - we don't live a life that allows it. Codependent mama types give but don't know how to receive. It's like our hearts only work in one direction...maybe...
It's the grandma serving others, waiting, waiting, and maybe someday allowing herself to be served and loved and waited on...Grandma sitting and waiting, anticipating our needs as we ate, waiting to eat alone afterwards. I wonder why she started that practice...
Vacations...Sometimes we bask on a beach and absorb rays of Light. Sometimes we climb mountains and discover new places. Sometimes we take lessons.
How do we take a heart vacation? How do we relax, step aside and allow ourselves to be loved? How do we let down our guard?
I don't know how to take a normal vacation. I have organized my life to prove that I am not worthy. How in the world can I discern how to take a heart vacation...to rest my weary heart?
Once we figure out heart vacations, maybe we an tackle soul vacations. Hmmmm...I don't think my soul needs a vacation. It is learning all the time, and totally fascinated by this experience, pain and joy and exhaustion and excitement and all.
The baby would not fall asleep tonight. I think she is coming down with somehting. And so I am exhausted and - not very profound or thoughtful tonight.
Must sleep...Hope you are well...
Love and hugs,
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment