Take the edge off

Clare,

I think the trick is to try to wiggle the rocks and see which one gives way…
that is the one that is ready to be moved…
that is the one that will make way for forward flow.

I had a session with a woman, younger than myself, who looked terribly old today. When she told me her story I cried on the inside. It was about childhood sexual abuse and then multiple abusive relationships. Each one tinged with hope of changing the partner for the better…but failing horribly.
I made a comment about how poorly our country views women and treats them even worse. I came home spent and feeling shaky. I think my rage was simmering underneath. I took a walk, mowed the lawn, cursed at the dog…sorry little dog…and am feeling somewhat better.

The listening and validating piece is very important. I think that's what my job is all about. Hearing the words that are spoken and unspoken…and teasing out those that are too scary to be spoken aloud. Each of the people I see has such strength. Each has overwhelming challenges….and yet they are brave enough to ask for help. They are willing to show vulnerability.

I can see the value of listening to my youngest…but I stop conversing when he crosses the boundary of respect…I don't stop listening or processing…I just refuse to continue a conversation when he's cursing at me…but I will try harder to anticipate his edge and help him to navigate it better.

My older son told me that along the trail he was discussing drug use with an advisor…."why do you use?" was the question posed to him. He made up a bunch of reasons, but finally came to the most honest answer, "fear". He told them he used substances to "take the edge off" when he was feeling uncertain and afraid. He was challenged to consciously remove the "edge"…allow vulnerability…and become comfortable with himself….and then his need for drugs would go away.

I am tired and I have an expansion in the morning. I will check in tomorrow.
Love and Light,
Maggie