complaining…again

Clare,
To answer the kitten question…
I think I saved it.
I can remember sitting down on the ground, reaching for it…
once you touch it, it's yours, right?
I'm not sure what it is symbolic for…
maybe a part of me…
maybe the work I'm doing right now…
every once in a while I get a lost soul in the office that needs to be revived.

I started out, in January, saying that I didn't want to see angry men….
they intimidate me…
make me stop thinking and processing…
I had 3 so far this week.
Each with very violent sides to their personalities and yet they were calm and respectful with me.
It is frightening to see this side of people.
One is schizophrenic- I've never seen a person actively hallucinating….
it was confusing because the voices in his head had to be translated so that I could understand what was going on. Luckily this person is able to understand the difference between reality and hallucination- at least today he could.

My life has kind of gotten back to normal this week. With both boys safely tucked into their new environments I am able to work and move as I need to, without worrying about who's going to be where and getting finished on a specific schedule. It's kind of nice to have a little freedom in my schedule.

I am really uncomfortable this week after expansion. I felt like I was going to faint yesterday as I was driving away from my appointment. I think the muscles are just getting too stretched. A friend did a massage later in the day and was amazed how tight my pectorals are as they insert onto my upper arm. It hurt so badly as she was trying to release those. I came home and sat in the hot tub, only to realize the bromine levels were too high and I was choking on the fumes. I had to take a shower to get it off my skin. Today I've been having stabbing pains across my lumps. I try no to grab them, but nonchalantly put pressure on the painful spots to release them. I hope that people aren't wondering why I'm grabbing my lady lumps. Last night I has a T shirt on and it was pulled kind of low and all I could see was cleavage- I told husband, "this is ridiculous, they're big enough!" He just laughs at me.

Enough complaining for one day,
Love and Light,
Maggie