Deficiency

Clare,

I feel as if I sleep a lot right now…
but it's not restful…
I am uncomfortable in my body with these expanders in place.
This morning I have 2 Salon Pas on my upper back to drown out the muscle spasm which is trying to balance the pectoral spasms. I have a reiki appointment this afternoon, which should help a lot. I also have a massage scheduled for the same day as my next expansion. I am trying to balance my body as best I can. I do yoga every morning and walk each day. I try to breathe deeply, but the expanders are pushing inward on my rib cage and restricting that a bit too. So, I do the best that I can.

Sorry, enough complaining.

I need to find a new book or project to take my mind off my physical issues. A friend gave me a book called Ordinary Magic, Developing Resilience. I was so excited to receive it- but it reads very clinically and is not what I hoped for. Today I will stop at the book store and let myself be led to my next book. I could also begin to work on a Christmas stocking for my daughter's boyfriend. I bought all of the thread and materials last November and realized there was no way that I could finish it before Christmas, so I put it away for this fall. Maybe that's what I need to do- start something creative.
If I'm creative my body will respond and open more.

I will try the nettles. I will look for them at the health food store. Do they come as a tea?
I have become quickly dependent upon sugar again. It started as "just one" decaf mocha latte lite…
it's my favorite drink at Dunkin…
I ordered one on the way to an appointment and now I feel as if I need one every time I pass by…
and then Starbucks calls out to me "Soy Chai"…
and I am drinking those again.
Well that all led to ice cream, and chocolate candy…
I rarely eat candy because it is so addictive…
When I eat chocolate I get an amazing burst from it…
and then drop low…
becoming mean at times…
the only thing that brings me back up is chocolate.
So, today is "cold turkey" day. No more sugar. No more ice cream. No more chocolate.
It will be tough for the first 3 - 4 days, but I've done it before.
And no one is home during the day for me to be mean to so it's safe.

Looking back at all of this- I'm obviously craving something I'm missing-
I've got to identify precisely what I am deficient in and replace/supplement that.
Any suggestions?
Any inspirations?

Love and Light,
Maggie