afraid of

Hi Maggie,

It might be the source of the swamp because that is where it forms.  The fresh water pounds down and has nowhere to go and so it begins to erode, remove, eat away, the get larger and larger, to lose its clarity, lose it's beauty.

I was stopped by your opening statement to Dad - I have always been afraid of you.  I had to think about that...am I afraid of him?  I am afraid of his moods.  I remember monitoring the way he walked, so I knew whether to get out of the way or not.  But more than being afraid of him, I have always been afraid that he didn't love me.  In fact, I have always been pretty sure he didn't love me. And he never really liked me either. That was difficult, and is still very painful.  I remember as a child thinking there was a rule that said parents must love their children.  But Dad did not love me.  It always seemed like there must be something terribly wrong with me if my own parent didn't even like me.  My logical adult knows this is not true, but there is an unloved child within.  Maybe that's a rock that can be moved...I just have to allow someone to love me.  Maybe...

Congratulations on the Me Too art contest. I can't wait to see the entries!

The play seems important too.  I never thought about scanty versus modest.  It must be such a part of our culture that we do it without recognizing the pattern.  I wonder if I did it...But pulling it out into the open, looking at it, discussing it - that's important.

If boyfriends can tell us how to dress, doesn't that make them our fathers???

I was suggested as a memberof a team of people looking at ways to address food issues as well as ways to increase options for exercise in our county. I went to a first meeting tonight.  I went with a woman who is a little younger, who comes from a big family too.  Often I throw people off, or even annoy them by sharing all kinds of crazy ideas. I know they are way out there, but the crazy idea often leads to something new and doable.  So I was doing it tonight, just being myself, and she got it!  I was so happy.

Three more expansions until boobalicious!  You can do it!!

Love and hugs from Clare