moving rocks

Hi!

I love the image from your dream.  I thought a lot about the circle of stones damming the flow. It seemed to me that we have two options. We can flow and splash so hard that we escape, at least partially, or we can lift a stone or two and gently set them aside.  We wouldn't even have to move them all - just one.  It seems so simple - yet I am blank about what to move and how to move it.

Very brave of you to face creating alliances in the family.  I think my alliance was me and the kids, with their dad outside. I think I did that even when we were happily married.  I guess it is part of the way we were raised. We doubt that we are loveable, and so we force our children to love us.  The alliance problem in my brood does come from my ex. He always has a favorite, and together they "worry" about whoever is on the outside.  That loving concern is an excuse to bash the outsider.  For a long time his fave was the youngest.  Lately it has been the oldest.

I have learned not to share too much about what the kids are doing with their sibs.  It's not mine to share.  And it cuts down on the drama...

It is so healthy to admit that this all happens. Thanks for the inspiration.

I don't think I would use AVP to communicate with the youngest. I would use techniques from RC - Reevaluation Counseling.  Of course he wants vengeance. He has been wronged in favor of the broken, weaker child. I'm not sure exactly what was going on in your family dynamics, but I remember everything B#2 was allowed to get away with because our parents were protecting him. He stole from all of us...

In RC we learned to be truly present and calm and accepting and we learned to really listen.  He needs someone to hear what he has to say...not to calm him or soothe him. He needs to have his pain recognized and validated. 

I have been falling asleep while typing.  I think I need to get up, go bring in the laundry, move!!

I love you.  I also love the message from your healer...I breathed a sigh of relief.

Clare