Relaxed energy

Clare,
Just knowing that you are willing to have that conversation with your son assures me that the opportunity to have happen. He will listen and he will understand what he is capable of hearing at this moment...it might be a conversation that needs to be ongoing...but taking the first step is opening for you.

I have often wondered what our parents could have said or done that would have assured us that we were loved and appreciated. But, as you said recently, we were condemned by the age of 5 to live a life of self doubt, self judgement, and secrets. If they had said nice things I wouldn't have believed them...the lessons were long ago branded into my brain...they were a part of my self image...at age 50 I am finally dismantling their hold on me. Realizing that I(we) was a swan instead of a duckling in the nest of ducks.

I have been wondering about resiliency again...why did I make the choices that I did...why was I able to see a clearer way out of the quagmire that we grew up in? Where did I find that compass that directed me to education and a professional life that placed me close to healers? Why did I marry a man who doesn't have the addictions that I grew to expect in a mate?
Grace is the only answer that I come up with...pure grace...thank you.

Paris was lovely.
It was as alive as New York or Philadelphia, but had a sense of relaxed energy and a respect for people, art and culture that I haven't experienced anywhere else.
Everywhere we walked there was art.
The doors of buildings are carved.
There are great double doors that open into courtyards that have stunning gardens.
The bridges had art and sculpture on the sides that isn't visible from the street.
At night there are thousands of people, couples and small groups, who sit along the river or on the grassy yards of the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre, drinking wine and dining al fresco.
No one was out of control. It was peaceful and happy.
We walked by Notre Dame on Sunday night about midnight and there was a great crowd around 4 men break dancing. All were clapping and laughing. We walked through organic markets, open air markets, by cathedrals on almost every block...always that same relaxed atmosphere...I need to learn to channel that sense of relaxation.

I will catch up with you tomorrow...
Maggie