Lessons from my reading

Clare,

I am sure that you are busy with your grand babies so I will share tidbits from the book that I just read.
Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment, and Fear by Claudia Black, PhD.

Early in the course of my journey I came to realize that "there is another reality than the one that I live. I want it". I have read previously to want something always keeps it elusive...but to say that "I am" living a new reality, a different reality allows it to materialize.
I have learned to pray with the words "I am"...very powerful words historically as well as personally.
I would change this statement to, 'there is another reality than the one that I live. I am living it.'

"I am willing to take risks to have it."...the new reality...the wholehearted life that I seek requires that I step outside of my comfort zone to attain. I am ready to do that.

"If you have pain, you deserve to heal."
"If you have anger or guilt from your past, you deserve to heal"...who doesn't carry some pain, guilt and anger in their lives...physical, emotional, and/or spiritual. We all seek healing...Helig.

In addition, "If you are protecting yourself from past pain in ways that are causing you even more pain in the present you deserve to heal." All of the disease, mental and physical, that is a result of past abuse and neglect in our family and society makes this statement scream at us. Screaming at us to take notice, stop ignoring the pain, and start to heal.

"The pain that we feel is not only from the past, but from a past-driven present." We need to recognize that the past is a memory, an illusion. It can no longer hurt us, unless we cling to it and allow it to control and hurt us.

Recognizing that we were powerless as children, but now have the power to control our lives is a "turning point" and that we need have the patience with ourselves to learn the basic social skills necessary to navigate wholeheartedly in our family and society that we didn't have the opportunity to learn while we were in survival mode as children.

I love this one..."Recovery isn't changing who you are. It is letting go of who you are not." Releasing all of the fat, dumb, ugly, worthless lessons that were ingrained...and seeing the beauty and perfection of ourselves.

I will end with this one..."A turning point will come when you can identify a safe way to share the secret."...and healing follows. Find someone to share your secrets with...30% of girls and 15% of boys are sexually abused before they reach age 18...there are plenty of "Me Too" people out there...Trust and share.

"God is always present in the heart. Look within"
All excerpted from Claudia Black's book, Changing Course.

Love and Blessings,
Maggie