Impeccable Truth

Clare,
I miss our daily conversation. I pray that you are safe on your journey and that you will be surrounded by your family very soon.

So, moving on from the first Art to the next...The Art of Honesty (Rob Bell).

Are we ever completely honest, open faced, look you straight in the eye honest?
It is a difficult call to action.
One that I read about several years ago in The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first of the four agreements is "be impeccable with your word".
Simple statement but incredibly difficult to live.
A basic, powerful trinity is "thought, word, action"...
word is an integral part of creativity...
it possesses amazing strength...it can build up or destroy.

Words planted by a "power over" someone that end up embedded in the psyche...
continually replaying those lessons that were ingrained in our minds...
you're fat...
you're dumb...
you're ugly...
you can't do that...
why try?...
you are to be seen and not heard...
you're too sensitive, I was only kidding...
you are only of value as an object to be abused or ignored...
it was just a game...not sexual abuse.
Those catch phrases that play over and over in our minds, especially when we are trying to be courageous or creative.
Ruiz wrote that through word we have the ability to "spread our personal poison"...
he said that, "self- rejection is the greatest sin"...
unfortunately too many are taught to reject their own judgements, intuition, decisions because of the childhood messages they incorporated into their self image...
trapped by the past, unable to move forward in a meaningful way.

Why would people, parents, teachers, coaches, police, anyone in authority use negative words to imprint young people's minds?
I am sure that most parents have not said to themself, "I am going to knock this one down a peg or two" and then lash out with a nasty, slew of negative images meant to hurt and degrade their progeny. (Wow, I have to say that, while I was writing that I could hear that phrase echoing in my mind somewhere...scary how that poured out.)

That's the nidus of shame...
the birthplace of the plastic face...
the origin of hiding our real self so that no one ever sees how unworthy we really are.

Does anyone grow and mature without experiencing this?
Are there truly normal people alive...thriving and being authentic?
Why aren't they parenting or teaching children...instilling in them a healthy self- esteem?

Is there a way to overcome all of these negative words that have wormed their way deep into our self image?
Some believe that we can replace those "old tapes" by identifying them, stripping away their power over us by recognizing when they come up and then consciously self affirming ourselves.
The process that I have been undergoing is much like this.
I had to first recognize that the "old tapes" were garbage, heavy baggage piled on me...
meant to make me less than I am. Despite being an "orphan" the messages stuck.
Then I had to face the reality of my life's experiences...
admit them and accept that I can not change the past...
but fully understand that the past has no hold on me unless I consent to remain mired in that murky swamp.
Now I am able to stop the doubts before they take hold of me, paralyzing my actions, paralyzing my healing.
I have chosen the present...
to live in the present...
to fully experience my life...
and to trust and love for the first time in my life.

I am eternally grateful to you Clare for helping me to travel this far...
may we continue to journey and grow...
the journey is intriguing.

Blessings,
Maggie