violence project

Clare,
YES…do unto self as you do for others!
That's TRUTH.

I think we attract similar relationships until we can do the work necessary and learn the lessons…
then we move on to other lessons.
When I was separated, I dated a man who was physically very different than husband…
but when we got closer I realized he had the same issues as husband…
He could say no to me in a passive aggressive sort of way…
"she'll understand"…
but his ex and their kids never heard the word "no"…
with husband it was work and baseball that he couldn't say no to.
I realized that I had to demand a yes…
make myself a priority…
and then they got it…
eureka!
I think it's because I was such a "Stepford wife"…
I had the plastic face and canned "yes dear" ready at any time.
I still struggle with asking for what I really want.
It's stupid, but I want to go to Arizona for a week…
just to relax and rejuvenate…
I am afraid/reluctant to say it out loud.
I guess I'm afraid to find out that I don't deserve a trip away…
that sounds incredibly ridiculous as I write it…
but it's honest so I won't delete it.
I'm not worthy…
that phrase haunts the subconscious of way too many people.

So, I don't have a full time job as of next week. I want to start working on a violence project.
researching it
creating a curriculum on the biology of adversity- I can teach it in the Spring I think...
creating a text book-maybe...
creating a book once I've absorbed myself in this topic-maybe...
What do you think?

I've got to follow my passion…
I cannot just sit and wait for it to find me.

So, that's my plan…
try to accumulate and process all of that information…
put it together in a coherent and moving way…
and then speak my truths.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie