Are we ever _______ enough?

Claire,
The idea of safe enough resonates…
what guarantees do we needs to live life unafraid?
Intellectually I know there are no guarantees.
But, our religion of origin taught that if we followed ten commandments and hundreds of other rules we would be safe…
at least in the afterlife…
perhaps after purgatory.

Are we ever ___________ enough?
Who defines the standard by which we compare?
I think this is the elegance of buddhism…
am I alive and present at this very moment?
Gratitude for that…
simple…
freeing…
but very difficult to live.
"I am enough"

I journal most mornings. Today I realized that I have only 3 pages left in this journal. I opened to the first page to see where I started this journal, it was from 2013. It was a passage from when I found pot in the ceiling of the basement, right after son#1 was arrested. We've been through a lot over the past 2 years. I am exhausted just remembering how long this has been going on.
The helpful thing is that I described son#1 then very much like son#2 now…
self-deception, excuses, lying, stealing, under-performing…
and I can see the growth and change in son#1…
I think that instills hope for the future.
But, it could be a very long 2 years.

I had a dream a few nights ago.
Vivid colors and a lot of activity and sounds.
It was an Alice in Wonderland kind of scenario.
I was standing outside of the action, directing it in a way…
I woke up because the dogs were barking in my room…
I remember the intensity of color and sound, but can no longer recall what I was directing the others to do… I hope it was benevolent.
I'll let you know if it replays.